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Need Help (married cis male with ED)
08-27-2019, 01:46 PM (This post was last modified: 08-27-2019 04:05 PM by slb22.)
Post: #1
Need Help (married cis male with ED)
First a compliment. I have been reading several threads and looking at photos. From a purely objective point of view, many of you have very attractive breasts and some of you even have shapely hips.

Background stuff:

Age: 51
Status: happily married
Build: average to slightly below average with only modest fat
Heredity: my female relatives (on both sides) have large breasts

My situation:

I am a biological and mental male and have no desire to fully transition to female.

My primary motivation is to improve my sex life.

I have had erectile dysfunction for years. It started gradually, but at this point, I am no longer able to have intercourse or even get a decent erection. Medical treatments (viagra, injections, pumps) do not work for me. It's hereditary; the same thing happened to my father and brother.

The last time I had blood work at the doctor, my testosterone was about average for my age at 530 ng/ml. My doctor also periodically measures estrogen in her aging male patients to make sure it doesn't get out of balance. She tells me that most men my age have estrogen levels around 30-50 dg/ml. Mine was unusually low at only 9 dg/ml.

This led me to do some research in the last few weeks. I had previously heard that too high of estrogen can affect a man's health, but I never realized until recently that too low of estrogen is even worse (and increases a man's risk for early mortality even more). What I also found interesting is that insufficient estrogen is associated with lower quality orgasms in men (I know my orgasms are wimpy and only last for 2 seconds).

Part 2: My wife enjoys having her nipples teased and sucked. She says that she can nearly orgasm from that alone. She has tried it on me many times. I will admit that it is mildly pleasurable, but I never approach orgasm.

My thinking:

So, I am currently wondering if I could improve my sex life by increasing my estrogen—in the hopes of having longer orgasms and more sensitive nipples.

I realize that increased estrogen could shrink my penis, but that is not a concern for me--I am already resigned to the fact that it will never work properly again.

Although it is not my primary goal, I am not opposed to becoming a little more feminized--if necessary—to get the other benefits. If I am honest, I must admit I have a slight curiosity in this regard, though really no desire to be female.

Plus, a side benefit would be slowing my male-pattern balding.

My concerns:

Firstly, if it were just my wife and I on a desert island, I wouldn't worry how feminized I became, but I have a very public life and job. If it became too obvious, this would interfere with my public life. I think some degree of gynocomastia is acceptable in our modern society, but bra-sized breasts on a man are not for me.

Secondly, with currently low estrogen, I could probably use a little of the calming effect, but I don't want my brain chemistry to change so much that it alters my thinking or personality.

My Questions:

1) would taking these sort of phytoestrogens help with my two goals: better orgasms and more sensitive nipples?

2) is there way to achieve this over prolonged periods without showing in public and without drastically altering my brain chemistry?

Any of your wisdom would be appreciated.
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09-01-2019, 12:02 PM
Post: #2
RE: Need Help (married cis male with ED)
I agree with what Stevie said. PM would most definitely kill erections, but if you have ED this may not scare you much.

If you'll take PM with the sole intention of improving sex life, my advice is to go for it slowly. You will not grow boobs overnight, so you can check if PM gives you what you want, and then stop if it doesn't.
For me, effects on nipple sensitivity were quite quick, but I also had sensitive nipples to start with.

Regarding social life, before PM makes you grow boobs that need hiding it will take a while. Rarely, in "just" 6 months you may have some small-ish boobs, maybe a small A cup, but you'd still get away saying that they are moobs. Even then, if you stop you'll lose much of the volume, so you can really pull the break at any time unless you really like the idea of having large breasts.

Lastly: PM does not show up as estrogen in medical tests. It just doesn't show up anywhere. Some men with low testosterone had a testosterone spike while taking PM because the body was trying to cope with the increase of estrogen-like hormones in the body. This won't cure your ED, but it may actually increase your sex drive rather than shutting it down. (It's rare but it happened).
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09-03-2019, 08:41 PM
Post: #3
RE: Need Help (married cis male with ED)
I have had ED for thirty years. In fact when I married for the second time, twenty-three years ago, I had ED, and this was before Viagra. My wife and I discovered that mutual oral sex is spectacular. I have had the best sex of my life with ED. My wife and I agree that coitus is not the be-all and end-all of sex. Even Viagra came along we would treat coitus as foreplay before satisfying each other orally. I should add that my wife has always been very attentive to my breasts and nipples, and pleasures them with her hands while she gives me fellatio. It's mind-blowing!
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09-06-2019, 05:40 PM
Post: #4
RE: Need Help (married cis male with ED)
Has your Dr tested your free testosterone level ... if that is low it can lead to low estrogen danazol can correct that condition
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09-09-2019, 10:58 AM (This post was last modified: 09-09-2019 11:02 AM by slb22.)
Post: #5
RE: Need Help (married cis male with ED)
Thanks to those that have given advice and questions. First to address your questions:

- Yes, I have had my free T measured. It is slightly low, but still in the low normal range. I do tend to have high sex hormone binding globulin.

- No, I'm not terribly worried about losing my erection, because I have had ED for years.

- Even if for some reason I discovered that I liked having large breasts, that is not an option with my social life and work.

- My wife is somewhat open to experimenting with toys and such. We tried oral sex a few times. I liked it, but she found it rather distasteful.

There seems to be some agreement that no one would likely notice any changes for at least 6 months, so I would be safe to experiment for a few months.

I started taking 500 mg a few days ago. So far, I don't notice any effects, except that maybe I feel a little calmer.

I realize that individual results may vary, but any idea how long it would take to notice any nipple sensitivity or orgasm changes?

One commenter said he didn't believe it changes your brain chemistry, yet several threads on this forum talk about about it changing their thoughts and emotions. Any idea how rare of an occurrence that is?
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09-10-2019, 07:27 AM
Post: #6
RE: Need Help (married cis male with ED)

The change in "thoughts and emotions" is, generally, a calming down effect.
Just think that Testosterone is foundamentally causing all more "passionate" reactions. PM will counter Testosterone (to a limit) and this will take the edge away from both sexual areas (male parts) and general reactions.

You will not become gay or less interested in anything you like now. You may become a bit less violent or a bit less sex-obsessed (if that's the case).
Most people taking PM have said that their mood changes are generally positive.
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09-11-2019, 08:37 PM (This post was last modified: 09-11-2019 08:38 PM by slb22.)
Post: #7
RE: Need Help (married cis male with ED)
So does PM lower T or just increase phyto E?
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09-11-2019, 11:07 PM
Post: #8
RE: Need Help (married cis male with ED)
(09-11-2019 08:37 PM)slb22 Wrote:  So does PM lower T or just increase phyto E?

PM indirectly lowers your T - here is how: Taking PM every day increases estrogenic effects to your body. That is, the phytoestrogen molecules directly bind to your estrogen receptors, which are common throughout the body in both women and men. When this binding occurs, the cells exhibit estrogenic effects - your boobs grow, your body fat slowly starts to redistribute throughout your body, causing your butt to grow, your thighs to grow, and so on. And if you keep taking PM for over six months (each person is different, but six months is considered the "norm"), your testicles and penis irreversibly shrink. If you stop before six months, your body will likely recover back to where it was when you started, but this also takes some time. Again, the six months is a norm. YMMV.

When your testicles shrink, they don't produce as much testosterone. So PM does not directly reduce your T, but it has the effect of doing that over time.

Some guys with high testosterone levels when they start PM report much less feminizing effect from the PM. This is because there is enough T to block most of the estrogenic effects caused by the PM. This is why a doctor will put you on T blockers when they start you on HRT with estrodial. For us folks doing it the all natural way with PM and/or BO, you can use Saw Palmetto to help block your T while the PM does its thing.

Hope this helps!
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09-12-2019, 11:41 AM
Post: #9
RE: Need Help (married cis male with ED)
Hey, going to pop into this one also... In some cases PM can cause your T production to go through the roof. It has to do with SHBG level and binding process. The PM mimics E and fights your natural T for binding molecules. Causing body to try produce more of everything. And you end up with cold war "Star Wars" es battle of who has more. Which if you have blood tested really makes for some wacky numbers.
T and SHBG numbers triple avg but body is feminizing.

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09-16-2019, 02:29 PM
Post: #10
RE: Need Help (married cis male with ED)
I must be an exception to the negative effects of PM. Throughout any course of PM use 2/day, 3/day or at my current 1 /day, I have never lost the ability to have an erection, matter of fact at the age of 49, I still have strong morning erections, not experienced any loss in testicle or penis size and still just as aroused as I was in my 20's BUT Ive always been this way. Im 5'9", 180, athletic, take no RX meds and feel pretty good. Ive actually lost 5#'s in the last several months. I have although experienced the positive effects, so much softer skin, more fluff on my booty which was pretty muscular to begin with and of course budded with some small boobs. My goal with this journey was just a more feminine booty and some pencil eraser size nips ( weird may be , I dont know) - still dont have the nips I want though. Wifes never said anything but have gotten a few odd looks when shirtless a few times.
I had to slow down to 1 capsule every other day a few weeks back as I thought I was progressing to fast and then had feelings of "what in the world am I doing" but the ole brain kicked in and wanted the little white capsule again. I just call it Jessicas Secret.
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